"Marriage"

Marriage is the ultimate goal in an intimate relationship between two committed people, based on society standards. Why is that the case and why do we follow that? Just to be clear, I have NEVER been married but I someday would like to get married, but I will cover that later in this post. This topic is interesting to me for many different reasons. Unfortunately, I have not met many people that are happily married and I have met many people divorced or married many times. “This is how marriage is” “I don’t feel like starting over” “We have been together for a long time, so it’s time we marred” “It is what it is” and so on and so on. If you have made any of these statements or know of anyone that has made any of these statements, then there is definitely trouble in that relationship. Marriage was initially made for man to control the woman. It has since been re-created to show a union and a bond in your relationship. The re-creation hasn’t really happened for everyone (men). The LOVE and friendship isn’t in marriage for most and marriage has been ruled with STATUS, OWNERSHIP, and COMFORT. Love and friendship needs to be the foundation of any relationship. Why is love so hard for many? I blame it on insecurities and not taking time to discover yourself before you share yourself with someone else.
 
            Take time to get to know yourself before you give yourself to someone else. Be selfish and do some discovering of oneself. We are all trying to make everyone happy but ourselves and then we wonder why no one else seems to be trying to hold on to us or display happiness within the relationship. I think discovering your likes, dislikes, wants, and needs are key in life and any intimate relationship. Men and women should not only value the love but the friendship as well. You can’t judge your companion or not be totally open and honest about everything. This means all insecurities, and any other things applicable to the relationship should be discussed throughout the time you are together. Men, you can’t be reserved and secretive about who you are and what you like. If sex is what you love, then say so and that goes for women as well. The relationship has to consist of WAAAAAAYYYYYY more than sex but don’t shy away from the subject. Men live and die for sex and if this is a secret then I am sorry I exposed it (hahaha). You can’t apply rules to love. You have to let love in and let it happen regardless of your past relationship failures. Never let your past alter your approach totally. Never lose all of you because of what someone else has done. No human being deserves that kind of credit for a change in your life.
 
                Once you have found that someone that is your best friend and lover, you then should grow TOGETHER. The relationship is doomed if in 2016 there is no growth in both people. Time goes on and time moving forward causes change. There has to be adaption to one another’s growth. If you accept your partners lack of growth and you have grown into a different person, you can expect great friction within the relationship. This friction can be fixed but that understanding of a fix has to be mutual and both have to be open and compromise just a bit. Oh, and by the way, you never want to compromise yourself into being a stranger to yourself. If the fix is just not working, then it is time to part ways. Leaving will always be hard with someone that you have invested so much effort and time into. You can’t stay and be miserable for comfort, your companion, or your children. I hear these excuses all the time and it is disturbing to me that you would be unhappy at the expense of another person. Your unhappiness effect’s you and the people that are around you. You can try and not be obvious but it Is always obvious to others that something is not right. Take the leap of faith and be happy in this unpredictable life on earth.
 
                If it feels like work, then you should not be in the relationship. That old school mentality has led to so many divorces and torn families. Stop letting people make you feel less than if you are not married. Society seems to believe that if you aren’t married with kids that “something is wrong with you”. The people that think that way totally follow societal rules and don’t have a mind of their own. MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE!!! Love is great and should be the ruler of the world but we can’t force the issue. We can only hope it becomes a part of our life if it already isn’t. Show your children what love is and educate them on the topic. Let’s break this chain of divorce and misery and let love rule.