I want to start this with a HAPPY FATHERS DAY to all the men in the world. This blog post is for the fathers of the world. NO, a mother is not a father and could never take the place of a father, and no man can be a mother. Just like most things Americans celebrate, Father’s Day originated in Europe in the Middle Ages. No, it is not a hallmark holiday and neither is Mother’s Day. It was originated on March 19th as the feast day of Saint Joseph, and this means it is a Catholic holiday. It’s a shame what we celebrate and don’t have a full understanding of what it is that we celebrate. I say that because I always thought it was a hallmark holiday, but it’s not.
I would like to acknowledge all the fathers that have played a significant role in their child’s life. I know men are looked at as optional and not an automatic parent, especially in the African American culture. Us as men must make it a priority to be involved regardless of the relationship with the mother. There are some fathers that live with there children and see them daily but will not be a parent the child. To the men that run away from their responsibilities you know what kind of karma comes with that decision. I want to let the men know that feel as if this holiday is unimportant to all that aren’t fathers, stop worrying about it. Father’s Day does not make you a father and nor is it a day for rewards for a job that should be done with passion and disregard of other’s opinions. This is just a day for the world to generate extra profits. Holidays are all about the mighty dollar bill. Stop letting the non-acknowledgement from others make you feel upset and unappreciated. You must be secure in yourself and the positive impact that you have on your child’s life. The people that walk this earth are human as you are, and can not and should not affect how you feel as a man and as a father, if you’re genuine.
Ladies, girls, women, or however you would like for me to address you. This day is not a day to put yourself on a pedestal in a one parent household and you being the primary parent. As I said before you have a special quality as a mother and a man has a special quality as a father. No one person can fill the void of either. This man that is not playing the part that you think he should is not your problem. The man must deal with that mentally and no matter what you say nothing hurts more than what is in his mind daily. Stop pouring so much energy into bashing men that you made the choice to sleep with and have a child with. Stop dwelling in the past because the child is greatly affected by your sorrow and pain, even if you don’t “show” it physically. The most important person or persons involved in the relationship is the CHILD. Men should be in the child’s life but if he decides to leave and not be involved, that is not your problem, it then becomes his.
To the women that use your child as a pawn in some sick fucking game of retaliation for the relationship ending, or a man not doing as much as you feel he should, you need to GROW THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!! The bitterness that you have towards him is your problem not his. The relationship ended, now move on and let him be in the child’s life as he should. Men must do the same. You can not use the child to go back and have sex or manipulate the woman for your own personal gain. Women stop turning to child support to hurt the man. I say that only if he is giving and helping support the child financially. If he is financially stable and just refuses to give enough or anything at all then take his ass to court. Child support was created to help mothers support the child or children that they had with a man that did not want to help. This is not a fucking tool to control a man. Any man that wants to spend time with his child should be allowed to, no questions asked.
If you can’t tell by the words and punctuation used, I have direct experience with certain circumstances of being a father. Relationship ends and then the visits are controlled and more money than before is needed. Stop buying cars, self-pampering, or doing things beyond your financial ability. That child support is for the security of the child not for you. Being concerned with whom the child will be around is irrelevant. You would have a child with him but not trust the decisions made with the child, that doesn’t make sense at all. This must stop and the fact that the child suffers the most is never acknowledged. No one cares about all your excuses and that is for men and women. Be a parent to the child and always put their best interest at hand. The best interest of the child is to be involved with Mother and Father. Every day is Father’s Day and every day is Mother’s Day. Put your damn EGO’s aside and be parents for god’s sake. Stop expecting praise and worship because of a holiday. Give your greatest effort to the child and be their HERO.
Written By: Ronald A. Wilson.